I have been delving more deeply into the practice of self-care. You might be asking what self-care even is? To me, self-care means investing in things and practices for yourself that bring you joy, peace and general goodness.
Many of us have a hard time allowing ourselves to bask in those indulgent feelings because of guilt, shame of other conditioning. Moms genuinely put a lot of pressure on themselves to take care of everybody else, first and foremost. Sadly this eventually causes a backlash. We all need to fill our cup first in order to be of true value to anyone, especially our kids. When we are refueled, inspired, and peaceful, we are operating from a full tank, giving us a wider range in all areas of life. A full tank equals a more loving mom, wife, sister and friend. I truly feel it is of key importance for each to be vigilant with this in order to be happy. Isn’t that what we all want after all?
You may be saying things like, I can’t afford to go do things for myself, or I don’t have time to make me-time, or I am not even comfortable being indulgent in personal things. I also hear from my friends who have younger children, that they don’t have help with their younger children, making it impossible to invest in such things.
The truth is that self-care begins with the understanding of fully taking in a moment of personal joy. I have a dear friend that gets up a bit early each morning and prepares herself her favorite tea with intention and care, fully enjoying the process with full presence and love for herself. It has become the cornerstone of her life, and it’s not the tea drinking part, it’s the care in preparing something comforting for herself each morning, and basking in the ritual of the experience.
There are so many things you can do for yourself that don’t cost money. Secondly, everyone can find a time during their week for themselves, even if it means you lock yourself in your bathroom for 10 minutes and put a mask on your face and listen to someone inspirational on YouTube. Most importantly, pick one day a week, maybe try to make it the same day every week to create a ritual, that is all for you. Try different things every week until you find your sweet spot and then deepen into it. The idea is less about what you do and more about making caring for yourself the norm. Whatever it is that you choose, be vigilant with having a little date with yourself, because the relationship that we have with ourselves is by far the most important one of all.
Here is a link for you to download with a list of suggestions of things that you can do for yourself.