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The Lost art of Dating

Dating is definitely not the way it used to be. There is no more picking up the phone to call the girl and asking her if she can go out on a date. No more coming to her house to pick her up, opening the car door for her and taking her out on a nice date.

Now it’s all about the apps where you swipe right or left depending on if you like them or not. You then meet somewhere for coffee or a drink. There is no commitment. If the “date” isn’t going well, you both go your separate ways. It’s essentially serial dating or as some call it “speed dating.” Dating has changed so much because of technology and the need for instant gratification.

To be honest, young adults in their early twenties, as well as people in their forties and fifties, all say the same thing, “people don’t really ‘date’ anymore.” I’ve asked several individuals what they mean by that.

I’ve been enlightened with several terms used in today’s dating world and I am here to share them with you.

If you go out with someone once or twice a week, it is considered dating but not officially. The correct verbiage is “hanging out.” No one wants to put a label on it so they call it a “hang out.”

When you have been talking to someone for 2-4 months, that’s typically when the guy or girl will start the conversation and ask the big question: “what are we?” At this point, you are either going to become exclusive or it’s just going to fade out.

Even being exclusive is completely different these days. Being exclusive means you’re not talking to anyone else, you’re doing the normal boyfriend/girlfriend thing but again, there is no label of “boyfriend /girlfriend.” I am not saying this is the way everybody does things. Some people will say they’re exclusive and that they are boyfriend/girlfriend and that’s that. I am sharing what I have been hearing from teenagers, to twenty-something-year-olds to people in their 40’s and 50’s. There is a loophole in this whole “we are exclusive” but “I don’t want to put a label on it” thing.

Basically, a guy or a girl could decide they want to start talking to another person or “dating” someone else because they don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend label. Men and woman don’t want to fully commit because they are always waiting for the next best thing. This kind of dating blows my mind. It’s such a different way of dating than what I am used to. You may think I’m old fashioned and to an extent, I am, but I was raised to expect boys to behave a certain way. I teach my daughters and my sons how to act and what is okay and what is not. I hope for my children that chivalry is not dead.

I realize it’s a totally different day and age but I truly feel that certain traditions should never die like a gentleman opening the car door or any door for a girl. Even with us living in a feminist world, women should still let men open the door for them and women should just smile and say “thank you.”

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