I went away on vacation with my family this past July. We left for 3 weeks to the Bahamas, rough I know, but truth be told, I was dreading leaving for so long. My life has been so full for so many years with “doing”, that “unplugging” is a clumsy process for me. I guess I feel like I have to be doing something for someone and if not that, then trying to rigorously improve at my music. The trip would inevitably keep me from my piano, which caused stress. Well, the trip was on, and I was going without my to do list and without my piano.
When we arrived it took all of us about 4 days to settle into the time change and get into a groove. It was uncomfortable sitting with myself and my pale skin while my kids quickly busied themselves with the wonders of the island. I on the other hand, was slower to follow suit. Now that my littlest is pretty self sufficient, I was forced to actually be with myself and actually not do anything. What a concept. In that space something very beautiful happened. I disconnected with the multitasking frenetic Kim that I assumed was my one and only identity, and I became a softer slower, more present version of her. My awareness to myself, my children, my husband became very clear. I began formulating new song lyrics in my clear state. The music prevailed in me even though my piano lessons were on a hiatus. I was also actually “with” everyone vs. managing them, including myself. I really liked this new Kim btw. I will admit I did have the hotel bring in a keyboard to our room cause I knew that 3 weeks without touching those white ivory’s I would have been pretty miserable.
In my relaxed and present lovely state, I still managed to get hypnotized by my iphone at dinner along with my 4 children equally hypnotized by theirs. My husband, being who he is, was not, as he uses his for odd things like phone calls and email vs social media updates. He looked at this table of 6, and 5 of us were totally entranced with our little devices, totally unaware of anything other than that magical little handheld computer. First thing he said was, “this looks terrible that all of you are on your cell phones and I am sitting here alone wondering what everyone in this restaraunt must be thinking”. It was a big “AH HA” moment, and quite humbling. He was right. From that day forward we decided that there were to be no cell phones at any meals. Period. Some experiences must be kept sacred, no matter how important that text is or that your nine year old is behaving like a wild animal because its crucial for him to play the Kardashian game on your iPhone because he is a VIP and its crucial to his survival. (don’t ask) Let me tell you, it isn’t easy to not give in to the addiction, but I declare that it’s worth the battle, stress and every thing in between. When we are sitting down at any meal together and off our devices, I see the shift in our family dynamic We look at each other, we really share things. There seems to be more laughing and we all know laughing is the great connector and surely healer. This has been implemented in our home now for at least 6 months now. It is scientifically stated that it take 66 days to break a habit. We are proof of it!