Going With The Flow

I am a planner. I put everything in my calendar including birthdays. I have occasionally make the mistake of double booking but that rarely happens because like I said I’m a planner. I have learned over the years that even though I like to plan ahead sometimes someone else decides to put a dent in my plans. When I say someone I’m referring to a higher being whom I called God.

Back in September my husband and I had plans to fly out to New York with our eldest daughter. My husband got busy at work and had to cancel everything. Needless to say I was pretty bummed because I was going to New York to see one of my best friends and now I don’t know when I get to see her. Fast forward the same day that my husband announced we would not be going to New York my 15-year-old daughter came home after powderpuff practice with a hurt knee. When I asked her what happened she looked at me and said, “my knee gave out and I fell.” I think my mind was still trying to digest the fact that I wasn’t getting to go see my girlfriend in New York.

The next morning Avery’s knee was still pretty swollen but I had called to try to get her into the doctor when I was unable to. We went the entire weekend monitoring her knee as it kept getting bigger. I texted my girlfriend whose husband is a orthopedic doctor. I sent a picture of my daughters knee to her and she immediately showed her husband who said bring her in first thing in the morning.


Long story short I brought her into the doctor Monday morning they did an x-ray and the x-ray showed her cartilage was torn and she broke off a piece of bone. To make sure they’re x-ray was accurate I took her in that evening to get an MRI on her knee and sadly it showed exactly the same thing that the doctors office showed.


My little Avery was going to have to have surgery on her knee and two pins were going to be placed inside to repair the cartilage and broken bone. There is a reason that I was not supposed to be in New York.


Avery had surgery that Friday and it was more than I expected it to be. She was in excruciating pain. She could not go to the bathroom alone or do anything without help. I was up every few hours giving her pain meds. It felt like I had a newborn all over again. I have to admit I selfishly liked feeling needed.


I canceled out my entire week which led to canceling out a couple weeks of my life. I needed to give 100% of my attention and time to Avery. I also needed to slow down and as some might say “smell the roses. “Avery’s surgery happened a week before the Homecoming dance. She missed out on most of the weeks Homecoming festivities, which I felt bad about for her. I was proud of her for going to Homecoming pictures even though she did not go to the Homecoming dance.

Who knew that everything I had planned was going to be turned upside down for my own good. It’s been six weeks since Avery’s surgery. She is healing well and is in physical therapy twice a week. I learned a lot from this experience.The biggest thing I learned and I’m working on right now is not over scheduling myself. I need to breathe and when I schedule myself back to back to back with different things it actually causes me anxiety. When I have anxiety I am less patient. My kids need me to be present and patient.


This experience has been very difficult for my daughter. The biggest struggle for Avery is that she had to rely on me. Avery wanted to be able to do everything and not have to ask for help and she realized she couldn’t do everything and became frustrated. When I explained to her I am happy to help and I want to help, it may not have made her feel better but she learned that somethings are out of her control. We cannot control everything but we can control how we react to the situations that we are thrown into or the situations that come our way.



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