I recently had a conversation with a group of women, all fellow mothers with kids ranging from newborn to young adult.
We are all in different stages of raising our kids, however, the constant topic of conversation seemed to revolve around judgment. The judgment was toward other women and deciding if they’re good enough to be a part of certain mommy and me groups or whether they discipline their children correctly. The list goes on when it comes to moms judging moms. It’s often hard not to judge others, but nobody wants to be judged. I certainly don’t, which leads me to want to lift other moms up, the way I want to be lifted up. We all have different situations, different backgrounds and different reasons for our parental decisions.
When someone feels judged or criticized, they feel defeated. When someone feels loved and accepted, they feel safe. We all want to feel safe. Life is hard and lets face it raising kids is no picnic at times. Unfortunately, there is no book that says, “if your kid does X then you do Y.” Parenting is a long journey of trial and error, listening to your intuition and sometimes, barely getting through your day.
Imagine a world without judgment, where our natural instinct is to love and lift, not judge and tear down. I believe we can make a conscious effort to do this. May we look someone in the eyes and put ourselves in their shoes instead of judging their actions. May we compliment each other when given the chance and look at the good in others instead of being so quick to point out their flaws. I am a huge proponent in women supporting women and I strive to be a little better at this each day.
If we could see the paths of everyone we interact with, we probably wouldn’t be so quick to judge. You never know what someone is going through or what they’ve had to endure to get to where they are. Thinking about this before judging can make all the difference. Next time you question the actions of a fellow parent, try to tell yourself that you have no idea what obstacles they’ve had to overcome.
Love conquers all. Love can bring us all together to support each other, reserve our judgments and lift each other up. Let’s try our hardest to react with love, empathy, and understanding instead of judgment.