My life is definitely a busy one that has me running at a frantic pace. My husband thinks that I get bored and I continue to pile things on to my schedule to add to the madness. He may very well be right. My busyness is an affliction I suppose. I see his point… it seems I need to be doing something at all times. This “need” of mine often results in me becoming overwhelmed and frazzled. I know, I know… cut out the busyness ! Problem is I am going so fast I don’t even recognize that I’m in it !
Flash back to a year ago… I had to have a minor surgery on my knee from literally falling out of bed in the morning. ( probably due to my exhaustion from the busyness affliction !) I had torn my meniscus. I had gone around living my daily life for over a year with a torn meniscus. Don’t get me wrong, I was in pain, but I just thought eventually it would go away and I kept on hobbling around. One day a friend of mine noticed my knee was extremely swollen and she said, “Kim you have fluid under your knee, you need to get into a doctor.” Long story short I had to have my meniscus repaired.
Let’s fast forward to 2014. I fell again, but this time I knew it was an injury. I fell on a Sunday and I went to see my doctor that Tuesday. I had an MRI, that showed a torn a ligament in my knee and I now have to wear a leg brace for 6 weeks. Good news is as of now I don’t have to have reconstructive surgery on my knee. Bad news, well I am really going to have to slow down because I am literally moving slow. Given my track record, this new pace gives me enormous anxiety. My initial thought process was, “what will my kids do ?” “how will I get them everywhere?” “what about my singing and piano ?” “how can I drive to volunteer?” ” will my kids survive ?” add 55 other panicked and over exaggerated thoughts.
Through my frustration and worry also came some stillness. I would like to say that it is from the wise part of myself, but it was literally from having to be still. That stillness, brought in some light and a new awareness. Maybe not doing everything for my children was going to be a blessing in encouraging them to do for themselves and in even to do for me. To see me as a human being whose body does break down and as someone that also needs help. Maybe their compassion and empathy will be sparked and in turn create more for others. Maybe there is a silver lining in this clumsy brace after all.
Sometimes being so busy allows us to miss the opportunity to ponder some pretty sweet lessons.
Here’s to slowing down and moving up.