Why is it important, even crucial, to have girlfriends? You may think that it’s a no brainer, but it’s fascinating to see how many girls either have a hard time getting along with other girls, or they exist in a pretty consistent ring of drama with their friends.
When we get married, many times people will say that your spouse becomes our best friend. That sounds great, and to a degree it is true, but men and women are different creatures. There is something invaluable that sisterhood cultivates. I think boyfriends, significant others and spouses serve a deep meaningful and intricate bond for us, but girlfriends, now that’s a totally different dynamic. Woman bring everything to the surface for one another. We mirror each other, we see who we are in are friends for better or for worse. This is why female relationships carry so much power. Intimacy amongst women has the potential of being the deepest bond of all, as we can relate in a way that we cannot with men. the most complex relationship of all is between Mother and Daughter. That fact, give some pretty clear insight into the power of girlfriends.
There is a lot of weight in the title “Best Friend” I personally think the term is overrated. I have friends for different purposes, each bringing their own uniqueness and color to my life. There’s the friend I confess everything to and the friend I go to for sound, unbiased advice. I have the friend that I go out with and have an indulgent time, and the friend that inspires me to be better,just by the incredible example that she leads in her own life. All of these friends are the best to me, no pecking order necessary. They are all the best friends because they bring forward the best in me.
I try to teach my daughters by the example of my own rich friendships. I want them to see the different relationships I have and how each friend contributes so greatly to who I am and who I aspire to be. I want them to see the value of this sisterhood, my hope is that they choose theirs wisely.
There is a saying, that while cliche, I hold true to my heart. “In order to have a good friend, you need to be a good friend.” We will make mistakes along the way,especially with those we love most. Sometimes those mistakes deeply hurt some of friends on our journey, limiting the relationship, or ending it. This is part of being human, and part of growing. I have learned that if I readily own my errors,and clean up any wrongdoing I intentionally or unintentionally caused, I can close my eyes at night and know that I have done my best.
Through my on going journey as a woman, I am learning that the most important friendship of all is the one that I have with myself. This is invaluable. The women in my life have been my greatest teachers,including the friendships that have broken my heart. I learned resilience, strength, patience and compassion for myself, which I can then give back. I am grateful to all of the teachers and all of the lessons, both painful and gracious.
Thank you to all of my sisters, the ones that were in my life for a moment and the ones that will usher me through until the end of my days.